Monday, October 30, 2006
FAQs for Parents
Overcoming the initial shock:
Frequently Asked Questions for parents of gay persons

It is often a shock for parents to find out that their child is gay. Whether you are a mother or a father, whether you have a son or a daughter, whether you long long suspected something of the kind, or were completely surprised, finding out for sure can be a shock. The initial feelings are strong and confusing, and it will be hard to talk about it at first without anger and tears.

Although every family is different and every case individual, there are some commonly asked questions:

Q. Why did he or she have to tell us?

A. Many parents think that they would be happier if they didn't know. However, if you did not know, you would never really know your child. A large part of his or her life would be kept hidden from you. The fact that your son or daughter told you is a sign of his/her love and their need for your support and understanding. After all, who should know if not you, the parent?

Q. Why did he or she do this to us?

A. Many parents feel anger or resentment when learning of their child's homosexuality. This is based on the assumption that being homosexual is a matter of choice and that this decision was made perhaps to hurt them. In fact, gay people do not choose their sexual orientation. They simply are what they are. It is their true nature.

Q. What did we do wrong?

A. Most parents feel guilt when they first find out. After all, psychologists have told us for years that the way the child turns out is the parent's "fault". In fact, no parent has that much power over a child. No one knows as yet what "causes" any kind of sexuality, but it is widely accepted today that the a child's sexual orientation is set at a very early age, if not at birth.

Q. Will he or she get into trouble with the law?

A. In Singapore, being gay is not an offence. However, the homosexual act between males is a criminal offence. Even if it takes place between two consenting adults in the privacy of the home, the law considers it an offence. Government ministers however have said that the law will not be applied to consenting adults in private, and data from court cases indicate this policy is in effect. the law probably does not apply to females, though no case has yet come up to test it.

This law is in breach of the UN Human Rights Committee's ruling that discrimination on the ground of sexual orientation is a violation of human rights. Although the Singapore givernment no longer enforces the law actively, the continued existence of the law reinforces prejudice and discrimination in this country, causing emptional damage to gay people.

Q. Should we seek a psychiatrist to "cure" our child?

It is now generally acknowledged by the psychiatric community that homosexuality is not, as was previously supposed, a disease or illness which can be cured.

In December 1973 the American Psychiatric Association declared that homosexuality per se is not a mental disorder or disease. The American Psychological Association has taken the official position that it would be unethical to try to change the sexual orientation of a homosexual.

However, many people who are homosexual are so imbued with the prejudices of our society that they cannot accept their sexual orientation as normal. In such cases it may be helpful to get psychiatric or psychological help for the purpose of self-acceptance. Care must be taken, however, to select a therapist who is not prejudiced.

In Singapore, supportive counsellors are available at the Counselling and Care Centre.

Q. Should we tell our relatives and friends?

A. Parents who struggle with their own acceptance of their child's homosexuality often worry about other people finding out. How do you deal with friends and relatives asking: "Has he got a girlfriend?", or "When is she going to get married?"

First and foremost, you must not confide in anyone unless you have your child's consent. It is his or her life you are discussing, and he or she has the right to decide who should know and who shouldn't.

Second, you should not tell anybody unless you yourself have reached a point where you are not defensive about it. It takes time to learn to accept your child, and unless you can be positive, you will communicate your unhappiness or doubt to others. When you are ready, you might find it easier to discuss it with one person at a time.

- Susan Tang, for SAFE

Yawning Bread
Resources and Groups for LGBTQs
Activity groups and resources available to LGBTQs in Singapore

General Resources

Pelangi Pride Centre
• community space and resource library
• opens every Saturday from 4-8pm
• runs activities such as workshops and talks, every 2nd Saturday of the month.

Address: Mox Bar & Café, 21 Tanjong Pagar Road #04-01, Singapore 088444
Email: contact[at]

People Like Us (PLU)
• gay activist and advocacy group

• gay asian internet portal
• commercial site
• has articles and resources for gay Asians


Women-only Groups and Resources

• bisexual, lesbian and queer women’s moderated mailing list
• discussions include issues and general information
• currently numbers over 1000 women

Email: redqueen_[at]

• commercial women-only event organizer and portal


WSW Outreach Programme
• provides counseling and support for lesbian and bisexual women pertaining to HIV/AIDs and STDs.

Email: wsw[at]
Phone: 90272766 (Eileena Lee)

Women's Nite
• this free event is run every last Saturday of the month and provides women the opportunities for networking and community building events such as talks, workshops etc.


• Singapore-based platform for lesbian, bisexual and transsexual Asian women
• aims to empower queer women towards greater involvement and presence in the community


Men-only Groups and Resources

MSM Outreach Programme
• conducts research projects on Men who have Sex with Men (MSM) in Singapore
• runs outreach at real and virtual MSM venues and events
• develops MSM-specific safer sex material
• offers information, support and referrals to MSM
• organizes safer sex workshops
• volunteers do not have to be MSM, or even male, to help

Email: pdafa[at]
Phone: 81122172 (Paul Toh); or 91068884 (James Foong)
• gay asian internet portal
• commercial site
• has articles and resources for gay asian males


For Both Men and Women

• mailing list of mainly gay males with some women


Adventurers Like Us (ADLUS)
• mixed group (comprising gay/bisexual/straight people) involved in many sporting activities such as running, trekking and overseas trips


Community Action for Us (CACTUS)
• mixed group (gay males and females, bisexuals, transgendered and straight)
• organizes community events and activities


• an online portal for Singapore's transgender community


People Like You and Me (PLUME)
• an online environment for LGBTQ youth in Singapore


Counselling Services and Resources

Counselling and Care Centre
• professional counselling and care service offered to all regardless of race, ethnicity, religion, socio-economic status, gender, sexual orientation, educational standing, and age.
• online appointment booking available at

Email: info[at]
Phone: 65366366

Chia Kwok Ying
Kaleidoscope Therapy Centre

Address: 45A Gilstead Road, Singapore 309089
Phone: 96668435 (mobile) / 6256 5342

The Looking Glass
• an initiative of RedQueen!
• provides free email counseling service for women questioning their sexuality
• queer women counseling conducted by trained women counselors


• counselling service for sexual minorities to strengthen and enhance their lives and relationships with their loved ones and families.


Faith Communities (Local and International)

• gay Buddhist mailing list (comprising mostly of males)

Email: heartland-owner[at]

Free Community Church
• a gay-affirming inclusive Church
• has regular Sunday worship services and cell groups

Email: info[at]

• gay Christian group comprising both males and females
• a ministry of The Free Community Church


• gay Muslim group comprising both males and females
• international group based in Washington DC


As-Salam Singapore
• mixed Muslim group (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, intersexed and questioning


Other Resources (International)

American Psychological Association
• answers to your questions about sexual orientation and homosexuality


Parents, families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)
• provides opportunity for Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays to share and dialogue about sexual orientation and gender identity and acts to create a society that is healthy and respectful of human diversity.


Last update: 13 Dec 2006

All information correct at the time of posting. Users are encouraged to explore the above resources and contact the individual groups for more information before joining and participating in any activities, or utilizing any counselling services. Please also refer to SAFE's full disclaimer.

To share a resource, please contact us at safesingapore[at] Resources will be posted or amended at our discretion.
FAQs for Friends
What do you do if your friend says to you:

“ Do you remember the thing that I wanted to tell you the other day?

Well *sigh* do you still want to know? I don't know if it’s a good idea to tell you.

*breathe deeply*

I’m gay. And yes, I can’t do anything about it. Okay, are you still there? Good, I had to tell you one day. I couldn’t hide it from you anymore; it became too heavy a burden for me to bear.

You’re my best friend and the only person that I could tell. I’m sure you’re thinking "Why do I have a friend like this, why don't I have a friend who is normal?" and well, I can tell you that it’s because you’re a great person, someone I trust a lot.

Before I knew you, I would never have thought of revealing my secret to anyone. I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time but was afraid of your reaction. Believe me that it is not at all easy to live like this. I am again at that stage of asking myself why am I in this world if I have to live a hidden life.

Why me? I’m not in any hurry for my parents to find out. Wow, such disappointment it’ll be for them. And there’s not one day where I don't think about my homosexuality, my future with my family, and the rest. It pains me. Please, don’t be angry with me.”


If your friend comes out to you, be a true friend in return. Here are a few suggestions how you can show your friendship and support for him/her:

• Understand your own feelings about LGBTQ issues

• Understand why you feel it is important to support your LGBTQ friends

• Understand how heterosexism and homophobia affect both gay people and straight people

• Understand your social location, prejudices and privileges

• Learn more about the LGBTQ community

• Talk with friends informally and openly about lgbtQ events or issues in the news or in movies

• Critically consider media presentations of LGBTQ issues and write the appropriate parties with complaints, suggestions or praise

• Use inclusive language like "partner" or "date"

• Don't "out" people unless given permission to do so

• Don't make assumptions; ask about things you don't understand

• Talk with and learn from gay friends, classmates and colleagues

• Interrupt, confront or react to heterosexist or homophobic jokes, slurs, comments or assumptions, both privately or publicly

• Provide correct information when you hear myths and misperceptions about gay people

• Participate in LGBTQ events and campaigns

• Stay close to your LGBTQ friends; they need your support!
Sunday, October 22, 2006
What is LGBTQ?
Understanding what LGBTQ and other terms mean

LGBTQ is an abbreviation we at SAFE use to refer to Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning people.

Below is a glossary of terms you might come across when speaking to a LGBTQ person, or reading up on matters concerning LGBTQ persons. Do note that while some of the descriptions may fit a person you know, he or she may not necessarily identify with the terms used or agree with their definitions.

Ally: Someone who advocates for and supports members of a community other than their own. Reaching across differences to achieve mutual goals.

Asexual: Having no evident sex or sex organs. In usage, may refer to a person who is not sexually active, or not sexually attracted to other people.

Bias: Prejudice; an inclination or preference, especially one that interferes with impartial judgment.

Bi-curious: Most commonly used to describe someone who identifies as a heterosexual, and who is unsure if their feelings towards another person of the same gender are of a romantic or sexual nature.

Biphobia: The irrational fear and intolerance of people who are bisexual.

Bisexual: Also known as 'bi' for short. A person who is attracted to two sexes or two genders, but not necessarily simultaneously or equally. This used to be defined as a person who is attracted to both genders or both sexes, but since there are not only two sexes (see intersex and transsexual) and there are not only two genders (see transgender), this definition is inaccurate.

Coming out: To recognize one's sexual orientation, gender identity, or sex identity, and to be open about it with oneself and with others.

Discrimination: The act of showing partiality or prejudice; a prejudicial act.

Domestic Partner: One who lives with their beloved and/or is at least emotionally and financially connected in a supportive manner with another. Another word for spouse, lover, significant other, etc.

Dominant culture: The cultural values, beliefs, and practices that are assumed to be the most common and influential within a given society.

Drag: The act of dressing in gendered clothing as part of a performance. Drag Queens perform in highly feminine attire. Drag Kings perform in highly masculine attire. Drag may be performed as a political comment on gender, as parody, or simply as entertainment. Drag performance does not indicate sexuality, gender identity, or sex identity.

Family: Colloquial term used to identify other LGBTQ community members. For example, an LGBTQ person saying, “that person is family” often means that the person they are referring to is LGBTQ as well.

FTM: Female to Male Transsexual.

Gay: Men attracted to men. Colloquially used as an umbrella term to include all LGBTQ people.


1) A socially constructed system of classification that ascribes qualities of masculinity and femininity to people. Gender characteristics can change over time and are different between cultures. Words that refer to gender include: man, woman, transgender, masculine, feminine, and gender queer.

2) One's sense of self as masculine or feminine regardless of external genitalia. Gender is often conflated with sex. This is inaccurate because sex refers to bodies and gender refers to personality characteristics.

Gender Conformity: When your gender identity and sex “match” (i.e. fit social norms). For example, a male who is masculine and identifies as a man.

Gender Identity: The gender that a person sees themselves as. This can include refusing to label oneself with a gender. Gender identity is also often conflated with sexual orientation, but this is inaccurate. Gender identity does not cause sexual orientation. For example, a masculine woman is not nescesarily a lesbian.

Gender Identity Disorder: The term used for a condition defined in the DSM4 by the American Psychiatric Association.

Gender-neutral: Nondiscriminatory language to describe relationships—e.g. “spouse” and “partner” are gender-neutral alternatives to the gender-specific words “husband,” “wife,” “boyfriend” and “girlfriend.”

Gender Queer (or Genderqueer): A person who redefines or plays with gender, or who refuses gender altogether. A label for people who bend/break the rules of gender and blur the boundaries.

Gender Role: How “masculine” or “feminine” an individual acts. Societies commonly have norms regarding how males and females should behave, expecting people to have personality characteristics and/or act a certain way based on their biological sex.

Hate crime: Hate crime legislation often defines a hate crime as a crime motivated by the actual or perceived race, color, religion, national origin, ethnicity, gender, disability, or sexual orientation of any person.

Heterosexuality: Sexual, emotional, and/or romantic attraction to a sex other than your own. Commonly thought of as “attraction to the opposite sex” but since there are not only two sexes (see intersex and transsexual), this definition is inaccurate.

Heterosexism: Assuming every person to be heterosexual therefore marginalizing persons who do not identify as heterosexual. It is also believing heterosexuality to be superior to homosexuality and all other sexual orientations.

Heterosexual Privilege: Benefits derived automatically by being (or being perceived as) heterosexual that are denied to homosexuals, bisexuals, and queers.

Homophobia: The irrational fear and intolerance of people who are homosexual or of homosexual feelings within one's self. This assumes that heterosexuality is superior. Homosexuals who come to believe, accept, or live out the inaccurate stereotypes and misinformation about their sexuality are said to have 'Internalized Homophobia'.

Homosexuality: Sexual, emotional, and/or romantic attraction to the same sex.

Intersex: Intersexuality is a set of medical conditions that feature congenital anomaly of the reproductive and sexual system. That is, intersex people are born with "sex chromosomes," external genitalia, or internal reproductive systems that are not considered "standard" for either male or female. The existence of intersexuals shows that there are not just two sexes and that our ways of thinking about sex (trying to force everyone to fit into either the male box or the female box) is socially constructed.

In the closet: Keeping one's sexual orientation and/or gender or sex identity a secret.

Invisible minority: A group whose minority status is not always immediately visible. This lack of visibility may make organizing for rights difficult.

Lesbian: A woman attracted to women.

Marginalized: Excluded, ignored, or relegated to the outer edge of a group/ society/community.

Men who have sex with men (MSM): Men who engage in same-sex behavior, but who may not necessarily self-identify as gay.

MTF: Male to Female Transsexual.

Out, or Out of the closet: Refers to varying degrees of being open about one’s sexual orientation and/or sex identity or gender identity.

Pansexual: A person who is fluid in sexual orientation and/or gender or sex identity.


1) An umbrella term to refer to all LGBTQ people

2) A political statement, as well as a sexual orientation, which advocates breaking binary thinking and seeing both sexual orientation and gender identity as potentially fluid.

3) A simple label to explain a complex set of sexual behaviors and desires. For example, a person who is attracted to multiple genders may identify as queer.

Many older LGBT people feel the word has been hatefully used against them for too long and are reluctant to embrace it.

Questioning: Someone who is in a period of transition, exploration, or understanding their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Rainbow Flag: The Rainbow Freedom Flag was designed in 1978 by Gilbert Baker to designate the great diversity of the LGBTQ community. It has been recognized by the International Flag Makers Association as the official flag of the LGBTQ civil rights movement.

Sex Identity: The sex that a person sees themselves as. This can include refusing to label oneself with a sex.

Sexual minority:

1) Refers to members of sexual orientations or who engage in sexual activities that are not part of the mainstream.

2) Refers to members of sex groups that do not fall into the majority categories of male or female, such as intersexuals and transsexuals.

Sex: Refers to a person based on their anatomy (external genitalia, chromosomes, and internal reproductive system). Sex terms are male, female, transsexual, and intersex. Sex is biological, although social views and experiences of sex are cultural.

Sexual Orientation: The deep-seated direction of one's sexual (erotic) attraction. It is on a continuum and not a set of absolute categories. Sometimes referred to as affection orientation or sexuality. Sexual orientation evolves through a multistage developmental process, and may change over time.

SRS: Acronym for Sexual Reassignment Surgery, the surgery done by transsexuals to make their bodies and their sex identity match.

Stereotype: An exaggerated oversimplified belief about an entire group of people without regard for individual differences.

Straight: Person who is attracted to a gender other than their own. Commonly thought of as “attraction to the opposite gender,” but since there are not only two genders (see transgender), this definition is inaccurate.


1)Transgender (sometimes shortened to trans or TG) people are those whose psychological self ("gender identity") differs from the social expectations for the physical sex they were born with. To understand this, one must understand the difference between biological sex, which is one’s body (genitals, chromosomes, ect.), and social gender, which refers to levels of masculinity and femininity. Often, society conflates sex and gender, viewing them as the same thing. But, gender and sex are not the same thing. Transgender people are those whose psychological self ("gender identity") differs from the social expectations for the physical sex they were born with. For example, a female with a masculine gender identity or who identifies as a man.

2) An umbrella term for transsexuals, cross-dressers (transvestites), transgenderists, gender queers, and people who identify as neither female nor male and/or as neither a man or as a woman. Transgender is not a sexual orientation;transgender people may have any sexual orientation. It is important to acknowledge that while some people may fit under this definition of transgender, they may not identify as such.

Transgenderist: A person who lives either full time, or most of the time, in a gender role different than the role associated with their biological or chromosomal sex (a gender non-conformist).

Transition: A complicated, multi-step process that can take years as transsexuals align their anatomy with their sex identity; this process may ultimately include sex reassignment surgery (SRS).

Transphobia: Fear or hatred of transgender people; transphobia is manifested in a number of ways, including violence, harassment and discrimination.

Transsexual: Transsexual refers to a person who experiences a mismatch of the sex they were born as and the sex they identify as. A transsexual sometimes undergoes medical treatment to change his/her physical sex to match his/her sex identity through hormone treatments and/or surgically. Not all transsexuals can have or desire surgery.

Transvestite/Cross Dresser: Individuals who regularly or occasionally wear the clothing socially assigned to a gender not their own, but are usually comfortable with their anatomy and do not wish to change it (i.e. they are not transsexuals). Cross-dresser is the preferred term for men who enjoy or prefer women's clothing and social roles. Contrary to popular belief, the overwhelming majority of male cross-dressers identify as straight and often are married. Very few women call themselves cross-dressers.

Triangle: A symbol of remembrance. Gay men in the Nazi concentration camps were forced to wear the pink triangle as a designation of being homosexual. Women who did not conform to social roles, often believed to be lesbians, had to wear the black triangle. The triangles are sometimes worn or used today as symbols of freedom, reminding us to never forget.

Parts of this glossary was extracted and adapted from the Basic Definition List on the University of California, Berkeley, Student Affairs website
The truth is being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender does not give you AIDS. Certain sexual practices, certain drug use behaviors and other factors can put you at risk for catching HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, as well as other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

HIV is spread by sexual contact with an infected person, by sharing needles and/or syringes (for drug injection) with someone who is infected, or, less commonly through transfusions of infected blood or blood clotting factors. Babies born to HIV-infected women may become infected during birth or through breast-feeding after birth.

There is a lot of false or misleading information, often fueled by homophobia, that continues to be shared widely. Do seek out reliable sources when educating yourself about HIV/AIDS.

If your loved one is presently HIV-positive or has AIDS, they now need support more than ever. There are several local organizations that can help you with medical, psychological and physical care. Action for AIDs is a good resource for further information.
Understanding LGBTQs
Part of understanding LGBTQ persons is understanding issues of sexual identity and orientation. Here are a few frequently asked questions:

What is sexual identity and sexual orientation?

Sexual identity is the degree to which one identifies with the social and biological aspects of being a man or a woman. Most people identify primarily with their biological sex but transgendered people identify more with the biological and social characteristics of the other gender.

Sexual orientation is defined by a person’s emotional, romantic and sexual attraction to another. Heterosexuals are people whose sexual and romantic feelings are for people of the opposite sex. Homosexual (or gay and lesbian) are people whose sexual and romantic feelings are for those of the same sex. Lesbians are women who are homosexual. Bisexual (or bi) refers to people whose sexual and romantic feelings are for people of both sexes. People in a period of exploration or possible transition might be called "questioning."

All of these sexual orientations are considered to be normal by all prominent mental health organizations, such as the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association. LGBTQ people are said to represent at least 10% of the total population.

How are sexual identity and sexual orientation determined?

No one knows exactly but experts agree that it is a complicated matter of genetics, biology, psychological and social factors. For most people, sexual identity and sexual orientation are shaped at an early age. While research has not determined a cause, homosexuality and gender variance are not the result of any one factor like parenting or past experiences. It is never anyone's "fault" if they or their loved one grows up to be gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender.

Is there something wrong with being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered?

No. Homosexuality is not an illness or a disorder, neither is being transgender. It is as much a part of human diversity as being left-handed, short or tall, black or blue-eyed. A person's sexual identity and orientation are just another piece of who they are. On the other hand, what is wrong is the discrimination they face in society today based on their gender and sexual orientation -- at home, in schools, at workplaces and in the larger community.

Can gay people change their sexual identy or sexual orientation?

There are organizations that claim gay and trangendered people can change their sexual identity or orientation. For a strat, their assertions assume that there is something wrong with being gay or transgender, and are based on ideological biases rather than solid science. Claims of conversion from gay to straight tend to be poorly documented, lack follow-up and contain flawed research. The American Psychological Association has stated that scientific evidence shows that such reparative therapy does not work and that it can do more harm than good.

How does one know that they are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender?

Some people say they knew they were attracted to people of the same sex or somehow have "felt different" from a young age. Some transgender people say they feel from an early age that their gender identity did not match parental and social expectations. Others do not figure themselves out until they are adolescents or adults. People do not have to be sexually active to know their sexual orientation as feelings and emotions are as much a part of one's identity.
Why support LGBTQs?
Why should I support gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people?

All people, including our gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender loved ones deserve love, support and full acceptance in society. Because the LBGTQ community still faces discrimination in today’s society, many of them think they have no choice but to struggle with their sexual orientation alone. The common myths and stereotypes of gay people do not help. When someone comes out, they are taking a risk. They especially fear the effect on the ones they love the most, their family members and friends. Coming out takes courage and honesty. Be supportive if someone comes out to you. That person deserves friendship, love, support and respect, as all humans do.
Our supporters
We would like to thank our many supporters for their encouragement. Among them -

Chia Kwok Ying

Audrey Chua

Koh Hee Choo

Suchen Christine Lim

Sally Tan

George Tay

Juliana Toh

Agnes Wee

Yap Kim Hao

Anthony Yeo

Yiap Geok Khuan

SAFE encourages all with LGBTQ family and friends to stand up and join us in our work. By being open about yourself and your family you are already helping to dispel misinformation and fear. You can take the next step by telling others about SAFE. Together we can promote real family values of understanding, acceptance, respect and love.

If you would like to know more about supporting us, please send us an email at safesingapore[at]


FAQs for Teachers
We are currently compiling a list of FAQs and resources.

Thank you for your patience.
FAQs for Co-workers
We are currently compiling a list of FAQs and resources.

Thank you for your patience.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Care has been taken in the compilation of this web site. The statements contained on this site are believed to be correct, based on our members' own readings, experiences, and direct contact with LGBTQ persons. However, our opinions and statements are not intended to replace the advice or treatment by professional medical or mental healthcare providers. SAFE shall not be liable for any loss, damage or inconvenience arising from inaccuracies or outdated information that may be found on this website.

SAFE can not control the content or take responsibilities for pages maintained by external providers/organisations that can be accessed through our site.

Any external products and services listed do not necessarily carry the endorsement of SAFE or imply a recommendation.

Groups and resources listed in our pages are included because of our members' past interaction with them, and/or because they have been recommended by LGBTQ persons we know.

Users are encouraged to explore all resources independently and contact the individual groups for more information before joining and participating in any activities, or utilizing any counselling service listed.

If you are aware that any of the information on our website contains mistakes or needs updating, please email us at safesingapore[at]
Our website
Information about our website:

We hope the following will answer some of the frequently asked questions about our website. If you do have other questions, please forward them to us at safesingapore[at]

Please understand that we handle lots of emails everyday. Because SAFE is run entirely by volunteers who are also committed to other work, we may not be able to respond immediately. We do, however, read every mail and will consider all requests and comments.

Thank you for your patience and understanding.

1. Press and Contact

a. When was the website launched?

Our website was officially launched and made publicly accessible on 9 December 2006 at Pelangi Pride Centre.

b. Who hosts and maintains the website?

The website is hosted on and maintained by SAFE. The domain name comes from our free account from Blogger. No money goes into maintaining a web space or domain name.

c. I would like to recommend/list your site. What is the website's web address? - We would appreciate it if you could also let us know when and where our website is listed.

d. I am a journalist writing a story about SAFE. Who should I contact with regards to an interview?

Please write to us at safesingapore[at] with details or an outline of the article you have in mind.

e. I represent a business/group that would like to advertise on your site. Who should I contact about ad or banner space?

SAFE is currently not handling any banner advertising or endorsements. If you would like to sponsor or volunteer your services to help our users, please write in with details.

2. Technical

a. I can't view the site.

The website has been tested on Internet Explorer, Firefox, and Safari. You should be able to view the site using any of these web browsers. Please ensure you have the latest versions of the web browsers.

b. The text is too small/large.

You are able to adjust the size of the text using your web browser. For example, in Internet Explorer, go to 'Text Zoom', then 'Larger or Smaller'.

If you are still experiencing trouble viewing or printing the pages, or would like PDFs for someone who does not have access to the Internet, please email us. We can send you some PDF material by email that you can print and pass on to them.

3. Content and Copyright

a. Who designed the website and logo?

The website and the logo was designed by Regina De Rozario. The website was based on a free template designed by Isnainidotcom, and the logo was based on initial designs provided by SAFE.

Regina also contributed in organizing, editing and gathering articles for the website's launch.

b. What's the focus of the website?

The website aims to provide information and resources that can help friends, parents, and family members of LGBTQ persons understand their loved ones better. We also want it to be a channel for sharing personal experiences on working or living with LGBTQ persons.

c. Where are your articles from?

Currently there are resources and articles that we found on the Internet which we find very helpful and inspiring. These are written by groups that may be similar to us. We have reproduced them here as a form of sharing, as some of these articles and resources may not be known to our readers.

We are currently working on several articles of our own.

d. Are your articles only in English?

We do have a small section on Resources in Chinese. We will be adding more articles there, and hopefully over time, we will be able to add some resources in Malay and Tamil too. Volunteers who are able to translate our English articles accurately into our other local languages are welcome to write in to us.

e. I would like to contribute an article. What kind of features are you looking for?

All contributions are on a volunteer basis. We are looking for articles that meet our focus (see 3b above). We are especially on the lookout for personal stories from parents, family members, friends, or acquaintances of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgender persons.

All contributions will be read and considered. However, they may be edited and will be published on our site at our discretion.

f. May I reproduce your articles, or logo on my own website, or blog, or publication?

Please write in to us with a link to your website, or details about your publication. Some of our articles are from third-party sources who own the copyright to their articles. Please do not reproduce those without their permission.

No part of the SAFE website, including its logo, is to be reproduced for commercial purposes without our written permission.

FAQ last updated by SAFE Admin on 7 Dec 2006


Our beginnings
SAFE was born appropriately, at a Mother’s Day Forum titled “Unconditional Love” held on 7 May 2006 by AWARE (Association of Women for Action and Research) Singapore. It was an afternoon spent sharing stories of unconditional love and celebrating the voices of mothers who love against all odds, stories that spoke of the power of a mother’s love in the face of negative societal stigmatization of gay people.

The forum surfaced issues of handling parental expectations and good intentions, the emotions that accompanied the complex issue of coming out, and how important it is to keep family relationships close and communication channels open.

One of the panellists, Khoo Hoon Eng, who is herself a mother of two gay sons, spoke of her love for both her sons, and expressed pride over how both are socially conscious individuals who want to make a difference to society. At the close of the afternoon, she was moved to moot the idea of a support group for parents and family, a group that she wished was available for guidance and perhaps just a listening ear, when her sons came out to her.

SAFE was thus born, and with this website, provides a place where parents, family members and friends of gay and transgender people can find information to understand the issues better, learn from accepting families, share stories and experiences, and most of all learn to build strong and close relationships with their loved ones.


SAFE's Mission
Our mission is to form a network of support, affirmation and empowerment for families and friends of LGBTQ persons by providing information and resources and encouraging dialogue that promotes respect for human diversity and the well-being of all lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning persons.


Who we are
We are parents, families and friends of LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning) persons, who believe in a society that accepts, affirms and empowers everyone to participate fully in it, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation.

The SAFE Team:

- Khoo Hoon Eng

- Tan Joo Hymn

- Ong Su-Chzeng

- Susan Tang