Monday, October 30, 2006
FAQs for Friends
What do you do if your friend says to you:

“ Do you remember the thing that I wanted to tell you the other day?

Well *sigh* do you still want to know? I don't know if it’s a good idea to tell you.

*breathe deeply*

I’m gay. And yes, I can’t do anything about it. Okay, are you still there? Good, I had to tell you one day. I couldn’t hide it from you anymore; it became too heavy a burden for me to bear.

You’re my best friend and the only person that I could tell. I’m sure you’re thinking "Why do I have a friend like this, why don't I have a friend who is normal?" and well, I can tell you that it’s because you’re a great person, someone I trust a lot.

Before I knew you, I would never have thought of revealing my secret to anyone. I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time but was afraid of your reaction. Believe me that it is not at all easy to live like this. I am again at that stage of asking myself why am I in this world if I have to live a hidden life.

Why me? I’m not in any hurry for my parents to find out. Wow, such disappointment it’ll be for them. And there’s not one day where I don't think about my homosexuality, my future with my family, and the rest. It pains me. Please, don’t be angry with me.”


If your friend comes out to you, be a true friend in return. Here are a few suggestions how you can show your friendship and support for him/her:

• Understand your own feelings about LGBTQ issues

• Understand why you feel it is important to support your LGBTQ friends

• Understand how heterosexism and homophobia affect both gay people and straight people

• Understand your social location, prejudices and privileges

• Learn more about the LGBTQ community

• Talk with friends informally and openly about lgbtQ events or issues in the news or in movies

• Critically consider media presentations of LGBTQ issues and write the appropriate parties with complaints, suggestions or praise

• Use inclusive language like "partner" or "date"

• Don't "out" people unless given permission to do so

• Don't make assumptions; ask about things you don't understand

• Talk with and learn from gay friends, classmates and colleagues

• Interrupt, confront or react to heterosexist or homophobic jokes, slurs, comments or assumptions, both privately or publicly

• Provide correct information when you hear myths and misperceptions about gay people

• Participate in LGBTQ events and campaigns

• Stay close to your LGBTQ friends; they need your support!