Thursday, August 16, 2018
Their Family. Our Family.

As Alan Seah, member of Pink Dot SG Steering Committee has pertinently commented: 

"It should be no surprise that the Lee family has a member of the LGBTQ community to call their own.  Every family in Singapore does, whether they know it or not.  

What IS a surprise is why our leaders insist on discriminating against their own people, sons and daughters of Singapore  Their Family.  Our Family".

For report, see --

And for some great advice to Asian parents, from --

Same-gender relationships and conversations around sexual orientation are nothing new. Yet, for a child with heterosexual parents, it may seem out of the ordinary.
And now, given the news of Lee Kuan Yew’s grandson Li Huanwu coming out of the closet, you might be wondering how to approach the topic of same-sex relationships and sexual orientation with your kids. 
Just the other day, my seven-year-old daughter came back from school and blurted out her big secret. Her P2 classmate was a “transgender”.
“She told me that when she grows up, she’ll become a boy,” she confided. I listened carefully to every word she had said, and affirmed that it was okay. 
For me, the big reveal was that at seven, she had heard of the word, “transgender”. Then, next, I started wondering, “How am I supposed to explain this to my children?” And you might be wondering the same. 
Fact is, running away from our kids’ questions, thoughts and concerns will only add to their confusion.
So, here are some tips on how to sensitively and sensibly answer questions from your kids about same-sex relationships and gender/sexual orientation: 
  • Listen, without judging

Mummy Regina Abuyuan, whose son Marco came out when he was 11, has this advice for all parents, "The best thing you can do for your child is to listen, listen, listen. No judgments… just stay open and listen. Stay curious."
"Straight, gay, queer, bi, whatever they are — it doesn’t matter. If you just let your kids be who they are, and support whatever interests them in the best way you can, then they will bloom."
  • Be honest and open to discussion

Be honest. Don’t scold your child for asking the “wrong” questions. Answer questions truthfully, and make it simple, keeping in mind your child’s age. Be honest if you don’t know the answer to a question.
  • Make it all about love

Same sex couples appear different from the expected “normal”. But ultimately it’s all about love. Sexuality is complicated, love isn’t. And it might be easier to explain that love does not just have to be between a man and a woman, it could be between two men or even two women, just like it exists between mummy and daddy. 
Normalising our differences will help our children get comfortable with their own sexual identity. If we make a big fuss and treat the topic as taboo, kids might grow up thinking that being “different” is something to be ashamed of.
  • Practice respect and kindness for all

The most important lesson we can give our kids is to teach them how to respect others who are different from them. To treat others like how you would like to be treated. As simple as that.
Yes, it might seem like a challenging new world out there. Challenging because it is markedly different from the times we grew up in, and so, explaining differences to kids becomes complex.
However mums and dads, remember that at the root of all relationships – whether between a man and a woman, man and man, woman and woman or parent and child – is LOVE. 
This is your key to talking to your little ones about the topic of same sex relationships and variations in sexual orientation. This is your key to talking about any kind of loving relationship, in fact. And if you remember this, and weave it through your conversations with your children, we should all do just fine.